Why We Need To Go Back!

After becoming Ellie's mother something inside me changed for good. When we received Ellie she was a little shell. She was underweight and undernourished. The doctor in our group had told Scott and me that if Ellie was her patient in America, she would have considered her a failure to thrive baby. She could not sit, crawl, stand, or reach for anything to grasp. Ellie did not eat or take a bottle for several days. It was very obvious she was going through a lot in her mind. I think a defining moment throughout the whole trip was when I expressed my concerns to our group Dr. and the wonderful Godly woman she is, looked me in the eye and said "Kim would you like for me to pray for her?" With tears in my eyes I said softly with a deep sigh of relief "yes....Please?!!!!" Somehow when you are in the midst of deep turmoil the one thing you know how to do you forget to do!!! We were standing in the beautiful hallway of the JW Marriott on the bottom of a grand elegant staircase. Liz began to to pray with me. Suddenly you could hear people walking and getting closer. Before I had known it, our whole adoption group had gathered together on that staircase and we all prayed for Ellie. I remember seeing Steve place his hand upon Ellie praying along with Liz! It was one of the most touching moments of my life. I get chills just thinking about it. The prayers worked that afternoon as we headed for the Chongqing Panda Zoo. Ellie had taken her very first bottle!!! She didn't guzzle it down as I had suspected she would do, but she did little tiny sip by sip drink half her bottle. It had appeared that Xiu Cui had tried to give up on life while in the orphanage, but all the prayers we had been praying for her specifically even before she was born were being honored. My little Eliana decided to keep on plugging along....she was now with her forever family and I believe in my heart she had realized this time it was different. Her life was changing and all the love was slowly being felt and understood.

While we were still in China we were driving on the bus and our facilitator told us that what we had all done by adopting these babies was very commendable and wonderful but she did not want us to leave and forget that their are many other children. Some who are not babies, some with special needs and some who are just older who will never be adopted for one reason or another. As I was sitting on that bus listening to her speak I remember stroking Ellie's hair and looking into her little eyes thinking "baby we are coming back to get one of those little ones she is talking about!"

When you adopt you can never be the same. When you look neglect and malnourishment in the face you can never forget it. It changes the very fiber of your being. This is why I NEED to go back. This is why I NEED to get my little brown eyed girl.

Eliana Grace is now a happy healthy active vibrant wonderful 4year old. Her siblings are almost 20, 18 and twin 14 year old brothers! I am so proud of everyone of my children and they fill my heart with joy, even when they are driving me crazy!!!!! As complete as our family sounds like is should be---it isn't. I knew in May of 2005 I was going to go back to China and I have been praying about it ever since. I know she is already born and alive because we requested to adopt a little girl about a year or so younger than Ellie.

I am honored that God would bless me again, for the 6th time. I know this is why I am on this earth. This is my calling. His Word confirms it:

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.