Scenes From Stephanie's Special Day!

Can they really be my 2 oldest children? Matthew and Stephanie when did you get so grown up? Stephanie you are beautiful. I'm glad you had a wonderful day. Thanks for sharing it with me! Steph you made Maria and Eliana feel so special. I hope you realize how much they already look up to you!

Still Need Your Prayers!!!

What are the chances of having an ice storm the day before surgery??? Well my chances were great, that's exactly what happened. Monday we had an ice storm, but it was far worse in the area where the surgery was to take place. Tuesday afternoon I received the call....my surgery was cancelled until possibly next Wednesday. I thought I would have heard something by today but I haven't. It must be very bad down there, so for now, I will assume Wednesday February 4th is the big day!!! Please pray for a successful outcome and immediate healing.

Immigation Approval....Dossier Complete!

I Found A Surprise In My Mailbox

Hooray! Woo Hoo!

We are now officially done on our part with our Dossier! We received our immigration approval (797C) form in the mail. All I have to do is fill out and sign an affidavit and send a copy of the approval to our agency. Everything I had been told, led me to believe we should not have received it before the end of February. I'm not sure what happened but I am very thankful for it's surprise arrival. From this point our paperwork will be authenticated, translated and then sent to China. We are almost there!

Upcoming Surgery

Wednesday January 28, 2009 hopefully, Lord willing, a day that starts a new chapter of my life. This injury to my mouth has taught me so many things I don't think I would have learned, had I not gone through it. Don't get me wrong, it's not something I want to go through again, nor would I want anyone to go through, however, it is something that took me from one spot to another.
Some great things came through this situation, which include:

• A deeper faith and my reliance on God has become the very existence of my life, which is something I couldn't say 6 months ago.


• A means in which I could identify with others who are in chronic pain and an understanding of the secondary issues that stems from inescapable pain.


• A new depth of love and respect for my family and friends. I have been prayed for and over by some of the finest faithful people I know


• Being forced to talk less and listen more.


• Dawn, Sheryl, Stacey, Marthe, Lenore, Karen and all my BSF friends, I have such great admiration for you. You have all taught me what friends truly are. Thank you for crying with me through the pain and not feeling like you had to have answers to make me feel better! I know I've caused your shoulders to be drenched with my tears, but those strong shoulders have helped carry me through.

With every surgery there are risks. I'm trying very hard not to allow those thoughts to cloud my mind. As it gets closer, it's a little harder to do. I know I really don't have a choice in this matter, the surgery has to be done. I can't stay in this pain if I want to succeed in the goals I have been working toward way before this injury occurred.

Please pray for me!!!

PS-- Dawn, if you are reading this on 1/26 check out my daily bible verse. If not, read Psalm 56:3-4. See what I mean, every time I express some feelings a new bible verse pops up covering that feeling! I just had to point that out to you after we talked about it the other day!!! Give that one to Sarah, tell her it's meant for both of us!

It All Makes Sense Now....

My visit with the specialist was definitely an answer to prayer, in more ways than one. I found out the implant had gone through the jaw bone and is possibly resting on the nerves. It was a very emotional day and taking in all the doctor told me was almost an impossible task. I was flooded with many thoughts and emotions which clouded my concentration. I think the first thing I felt was relief that I wasn't going crazy, there really was a reason for my pain. I had been told by 3 doctors, "nerves take a long time to heal, wait it out!" Almost 5 months of waiting it out simply didn't seem like an option for me anymore!

The new doctor I saw yesterday had state of the art technology, which generated 3d images of the location of the implant, allowing him to see the implant had gone straight through the bone. Nerves are not able to be seen, which kept him from being able to detect how much damage has been done to the nerves, if any damage at all, however he is very hopeful and optimistic. He used a sharp object to see if I felt it in a sharp or dull sensation and fortunately there was only one spot I didn't feel anything.

The miracles I received through this are amazing. One miracle came in the form of information I would not have received until it was too late if I had not seen this doctor. It was nothing life threatening but still something very important that needs to be addressed. I have been spared pain, suffering, time and finances from what I thought was a resolved issue.

Another miracle was a source for the pain which was obviously detected. There are some cases nothing is seen, leaving the doctor to have to perform "exploratory surgery."

In spite of learning surgery is necessary, having to undergo general anesthesia, remove the implant and go through another recovery, it really was a good day.

With all that said I still have fears and concerns because of the risks that are involved. I believe this is partly why I am in the situation I'm in today. I never took the risks seriously. Now I'm afraid I'm taking them way too seriously.

This is what I plan to meditate on today. These verses came to me when I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about yesterdays news.

Matthew 6:25a,28b-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, ..... See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

With all my concerns about another surgery and the risks that go along with it I well rest knowing I am being embraced by my Heavenly Father who is clothing me with His love and courage. I have peace today and an optimistic outlook, which I hadn't had in quite some time. God answered my prayer and didn't give me the miracle I asked for, but he exceeded my own selfish expectations and gave far more than I deserve. He has humbled me, I am blessed.....

Request For Prayer!

Today I'll go to a specialist about my mouth. I have been in pain since August and nothing is changing. I'm still praying for a miracle. I know God has a plan in all of this, which is what has kept me from loosing my mind. There's been so many things I've learned about myself, my friends and God since this has happened, so I can't say I wish this has never happened. I will say I am ready for it to be gone though!!! I'm ready for a miracle! I realize I'll be healed when God has brought me exactly where he wants me to be through this trial.

My daily devotional on my sidebar today is Psalm 37:5-6

Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.

I know that is all I can do at this point. Commit and Trust!

Please pray for me today, that I will do that. My prayer is, He will enable me to be fully committed to HIM and trust HIM with all my heart, strength, soul and mind.

Pleasant Surprises!

I called to check the status of our fingerprints. I was happy Stephanie and my fingerprints were acceptable considering the hard time they had getting them. Right now our file is waiting in line to be assigned an officer. Typically it takes 90 days before that happens. I was pleasantly surprised to learn our waiting time started on November 19, 2008. I thought it would start after the results of our fingerprints were accepted and cleared, so I am over a month ahead of where I thought we would be. February 18, 2009 will be our 90th day. What a great way to start the year.

Stephanie had been nominated and chosen to be Rose Homecoming Attendant. We bought her a beautiful dress. On Monday we went to have professional photos taken with the Royal Court and they came out so beautiful. I will post the photos after I choose the ones we are going to buy. What a great way to start the year!

Stephanie has gone to a Thespian Society scout recruiting program and has been chosen by several colleges and universities to attend their schools. They all have great offers of scholarships which is always a great thing. I'm not really sure what she will do with it, but I think it will help her to have a better idea of what she may want to do and where she will go to school next year. What a great way to start the year!

Last year it seems my year didn't start off too well. There were a lot of situations that were difficult processes to go through. This year I plan to journal all the great things that happen as a reminder so when things aren't so great, I'll have these blessing to be able to reflect on.

I asked my BSF leader to place an A.S.K for me this last week. I needed my group to pray, "God will remind me in the dark what he taught me in the light." She thought that was a great prayer request, then went on to say it reminded her of a message she had heard in church. Most of the time you will hear people say, through our trials and adversities is when we will build our character and grow, however, her pastor didn't seem to agree with that. He said, it is in our normal and good times when things are going right that we build our character. In our times of trials and adversities is when we REVEAL our character. I would think it would be safe to assume that is the same for our mountain top experiences as well. Our character is everything. This year I'm really going be more in tune with my character and what messages I'm sending to others, (especially my children) by the way I respond to circumstances. I'm not big on New Year's resolutions but this year I think I am going to work on my character.

As a family we have a lot going on. One child will be leaving the nest, another child will be coming into the nest, another child will be going to kindergarten and two children getting drivers permits. We will have many decisions to make, many miles to travel, and many changes to go through. We have our faith and serve a mighty God who promises never to leave us or forsake. I am certain He will guide and direct us through each decision, be with us on every mile we travel and comfort us through all the changes.

For now I will enjoy the pleasant surprises and know that through them God is building my character!

Luke 6: 43-45
You don't get wormy apples off a healthy tree, nor good apples off a diseased tree. The health of the apple tells the health of the tree. You must begin with your own life-giving lives. It's who you are, not what you say and do, that counts. Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.

Dossier Mailed To Our Agency

On Wednesday December 31, 2008, I mailed our dossier information to our agency. They will have it authenticated and wait for me to send them our immigration approval. That is the last thing on this side of the adoption process we have left to do. We were hoping to have our dossier on the way to China at his point, but even though we didn't reach our goal, we got close to it! I know Gods timing is perfect and we are where we are because this is where HE wants us.