It All Makes Sense Now....

My visit with the specialist was definitely an answer to prayer, in more ways than one. I found out the implant had gone through the jaw bone and is possibly resting on the nerves. It was a very emotional day and taking in all the doctor told me was almost an impossible task. I was flooded with many thoughts and emotions which clouded my concentration. I think the first thing I felt was relief that I wasn't going crazy, there really was a reason for my pain. I had been told by 3 doctors, "nerves take a long time to heal, wait it out!" Almost 5 months of waiting it out simply didn't seem like an option for me anymore!

The new doctor I saw yesterday had state of the art technology, which generated 3d images of the location of the implant, allowing him to see the implant had gone straight through the bone. Nerves are not able to be seen, which kept him from being able to detect how much damage has been done to the nerves, if any damage at all, however he is very hopeful and optimistic. He used a sharp object to see if I felt it in a sharp or dull sensation and fortunately there was only one spot I didn't feel anything.

The miracles I received through this are amazing. One miracle came in the form of information I would not have received until it was too late if I had not seen this doctor. It was nothing life threatening but still something very important that needs to be addressed. I have been spared pain, suffering, time and finances from what I thought was a resolved issue.

Another miracle was a source for the pain which was obviously detected. There are some cases nothing is seen, leaving the doctor to have to perform "exploratory surgery."

In spite of learning surgery is necessary, having to undergo general anesthesia, remove the implant and go through another recovery, it really was a good day.

With all that said I still have fears and concerns because of the risks that are involved. I believe this is partly why I am in the situation I'm in today. I never took the risks seriously. Now I'm afraid I'm taking them way too seriously.

This is what I plan to meditate on today. These verses came to me when I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about yesterdays news.

Matthew 6:25a,28b-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, ..... See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

With all my concerns about another surgery and the risks that go along with it I well rest knowing I am being embraced by my Heavenly Father who is clothing me with His love and courage. I have peace today and an optimistic outlook, which I hadn't had in quite some time. God answered my prayer and didn't give me the miracle I asked for, but he exceeded my own selfish expectations and gave far more than I deserve. He has humbled me, I am blessed.....