This Is What's Going On Now

I can't believe a month and a day has passed since the surgery to remove the dental implant. Sadly, I can't say things are any better. I was told it could take up to 6 months before I feel any better. When the weather is good and somewhat warmer it's tolerable, but on the cold rainy days, I find myself in tears just wanting to go to bed. Spring is on it's way, so I look to that as a source of hope. I have never given up on a miracle and I am certain I will be better! I've shared with most of you that I feel deep in my heart by the time I finish my Daniel Bible Study God is going to perform that miracle I'm waiting for. I've learned so much through this situation and I'm more aware of people who are hurting around me. I hope all of this pain and suffering will aid in me being a better person. I've found that through the pain you can choose one of two things. You can choose to stop living a productive life or you can make the best out of your circumstances. It's a choice I've had to make daily. Everyday when the pain is at it's worse, I simply just want to fade into the background and go to bed, but I know if I do I've given in to a life I don't want. I still find myself feeling like this is all a dream and I'm going to wake up. How could someones tongue be injured?? Is this not the strangest thing you've heard???? Well for me it really seems so bizarre that I'm almost embarrassed to even talk about it!!!!! I heard this verse of scripture and I really like it: Nahum 1: 7 The LORD is GOOD, a refuge in time of trouble, He cares for those who trust in Him. I heard that on the radio today and it really hit a spot in my heart. Just hearing it out loud that I am under his care makes me feel so good!

The sweetest thing is to hear Ellie pray for me and for Jonathan's foot! She is such a perceptive little girl and has the heart and wisdom greater than some adults I know! I realized last night that I have stopped taking pictures like I used to, so I have none to add to this post. I need to get on the ball and let you all see how big the kids are getting.

Tomorrow Jonathan will have x-rays of his foot to see if he is ready to get his cast off. I need to take a picture of him tomorrow with his cast on, before it comes off so we'll have some memory of his first and hopefully only broken bone(s)! He has been a trooper through it all. He has to get up extra early in the morning to be able to do all that needs to be done before he takes a shower and accommodate for the time he takes to get up and down the stairs. He's not given me a bit of trouble once because he has to get up so early. I'm very impressed with his maturity. When he comes home from school he's so exhausted from walking throughout the school on crutches. It'll be a relief when we can get the cast off and has had time to get used to walking on it again.

Last weekend we went to look at 3 colleges with Stephanie. We had a great time. It was so nice to be able to live through Stephanie and see what college life away from home is like. Scott and I never got to experience a life in college away from home, living in dorms, so it was fun to tour the schools and see what that kind of life is like. Stephanie auditioned for vocals and we stood outside the door to hear her. She sounded so beautiful. Even with a cold and stopped up nose she was amazing. Her accompanist came out of the room when he was through and said "congratulations...you have a very talented daughter!" We both said "thank you" and under our breaths said "I know!!!" She has a confidence that is very beneficial to her. When she speaks she articulates her words in a way that simply captivates those she's speaking to. I'm sure that will be an asset to her. It was without a doubt a bittersweet time looking at the schools. Part of me was so excited and can't wait for her to start her new life with room to spread her wings but then there was several moments where I could not stand the thought that we are at this phase of life. It's so hard to send one of your children into this great big world but soon Scott and I will be sending our 2nd born daughter out into a great big world far away from us. At least Matthew stayed close by, but Steph is going to be hours away.....that gives me a great big lump in my throat.

The adoption is still going at a snails pace. Supposedly our dossier is being authenticated and will be off to China soon. I will believe it when I have the e-mail giving the DTC date. I've been very disappointed with the way our paperwork has been handled. It's almost 9 months since this process has started and it was simply supposed to be an "update" being that this is our second adoption. When I question why things are going the way they are and need to know something I'm left feeling like I didn't have the right to even question anything. I DO know God's timing IS perfect and I will rest in that.

That is pretty much all that I have to update for now. It's been so long since I've talked to several of you who read this and I miss you all so much. Hopefully soon my mouth will be better and then you will have to endure my non-stop talking!!!! I've learned to be a good listener so call me and I'll listen to all the things that are going on in your lives!